The storm waters have calmed and it’s time to bring on Christmas!

All hail my 60th blog!

Alt Text: A white-skinned couple in front of a Christmas tree covered in little coloured lights & Christmas decorations.  Behind the tree is a wooden Advent House with numbered doors that can open & close.  The house is painted red, copper & green. The  numbers & stencilled images on the doors are painted white.  The woman sits in a manual wheelchair, wearing a blue dress, a necklace with a purple ribbon that acts like a chain & a cross with beads of purple.  She is wearing black/blue glasses, silver hooped earrings and a nose piercing with a diamond looking stud.  She is smiling.  The man is wearing a black jumper with a picture of Chevy Chase in the lead character of Clark Griswold.  Text in red capitals says ‘Merry Kiss My Ass.’

Blog:

Well who would have thought it – I’ve reached my 60th blog!  I started writing the blog in December 2020 & this is another milestone that I’ve reached.

I promised to update you about the tests & scans on my eye (which I first wrote about in my previous blog).  First of all I want to say that my eye is fine, thank goodness!  Moorfields is the best eye hospital in London, potentially the world, & they treated me with respect.  Here’s what happened at my appointment with them.

When we arrived at the hospital, working out how to get to my department was pretty easy because it has coloured lines on the floor & large text signs to follow.  The staff were all very aware & came out of their reception are, bringing their checking sheets with them so that visually impaired people didn’t have to struggle at the reception desk.  That was a really lovely touch & I’ve not seen that in other hospitals.  There were a lot of patients & staff, but the area was calm & the staff kept everyone informed about waiting times.  I honestly don’t think that I waited more than two hours – & that was only because I wanted to see my results straight away with a consultant present. 

The first room that I went into, the medic just took some basic details.  Then she checked my eye pressure (& this time I did let her put the device on each of my eyes very quickly.  For me, it wasn’t painful at all.  Then I read the wall chart (with my glasses on, I mean…!) & finally she put some eye drops into each eye.  People say they’re painful at times, but my eyes weren’t sore at all. I admitted to the medic that I was very concerned about the outcome today, so she advised me to say to the radiographer that I wanted to wait to see the consultant. 

Then I went for the scans & tests which were like the tests I had Western Eye Hospital, except this time I wasn’t rushed & I had eye drops in my eye to create the contrast needed.  I repeated to the radiographer that I was too scared to wait two weeks for my results & that I wanted to see a consultant.  She was fine about it & said I’d only have to wait 30 mins to an hour longer.  I could see that she was puzzled about what I’d said about having a cancer scare so I asked her outright if she could see any cancer.  She said that the consultant would confirm that (I knew deep down that would be her answer, but I always try & ask the radiographers all the same). 

The scans & tests were inaccessible as usual so there I was, wobbling away in a time-limited standing position on one leg, just like each mammogram that I have!  Having said that, the radiographer was kind, helpful & patient. 

I went back to sit out in the crowded waiting room but it was still calm.

An hour passed.  Both medics that I’d already seen kept checking that I was ok.  Then a very friendly lady came out & introduced herself as the consultant, & then she ushered me into her room.  She had a student there as well.  She started off by asking me why I had mentioned eye cancer (remember Western Eye hospital’s referral letter only contained 3 Latin words but no information to say that I’d had Breast Cancer & that I was a wheelchair user!)  I explained my circumstances & she said, “Now it makes sense!” in a big exaltation.  She went on to confirm that it wasn’t cancer on the back of my eye at all.  In fact, not only that it wasn’t cancer, it was never likely to develop into a melanoma.  It was just a simple mark.  I burst into tears of relief.  I asked her about the yellow pigmentation & the raised part of the mark.  She confirmed that they were never there, turning the scan image towards me to show me that the mark was completely flat.  So Moorfields were right all that time ago when they said I didn’t need to be seen by an eye cancer doctor!  She apologised for the treatment that I’d had.  She said that there was no way that this was even a suspicion of cancer & that she was genuinely baffled that Western Eye hospital hadn’t immediately picked this up as non-cancerous.  She apologised for all the distress caused to me.  Then she said a couple of important things: directed towards the student – “Learn from this because this is no way you should ever be treating a patient in this way.”  Then she said that she was concerned that my mental health had been damaged by this situation, so she wanted to see me in six months’ time to re-do all the scans & tests.  This was to double reassure me that there was no cancer & that I should be confident in the results.  I was still crying when I left her room.

I quickly updated Stephane in the corridor as we got ready to leave.  Then the consultant & both of the other medics came out again to check on me one final time, and the consultant touched my arm as if to say, “You’ll be ok now.”

I’d waited so long for this appointment.  I’d worried myself sick that my cancer had come back.  I’d got up very early in the morning & travelled across town at daybreak to get to Moorfields.  It was unnecessary in so many ways.

I got some rest on the same afternoon but I had to wake up & prepare the injection site for my cancer injection. My GP was treating me in the early evening.  I cried all over again when I was explaining everything about that morning to her.  She asked if I would write a complaint to Western Eye hospital.  I said Moorfields would probably do some sort of internal investigation, but that I’d write a complaint as well.  

Actually I’m not going to make a complaint.  I’ve written so many complaints over the years to the NHS.  I haven’t got the energy to do it at the moment.  If I do decide to do something, I’ll just send PALS at Western Eye hospital this blog, & my previous blog.

I’m bringing on Christmas as soon as Friday the 12th.  Yes, after Friday, I’m taking a month off work.  Not because I’m particularly financially stable or anything, but because if I can’t take a month off as a freelancer at a time of my choosing, then why am I freelancing!  2025 has been a very big year & I need to relax to let everything slowly sink in.  

Christmas time can be a very mixed month when cancer is around.  In the past few years I’ve opted to stay home & enjoy the main event in my little flat with Stephane.  Sometimes I get poorly over this period & that’s not nice.  If friends & family want to see me, then I ask them to come to me instead.  Rushing here, there & everywhere isn’t conducive to me having a good Christmas, NYE & a good birthday. 

I advise taking Christmas at a slow pace.  Let someone else take on the cooking, the planning of the board games, the planning of the tv-watching, working out how many chairs you need around the table (& do you need a bigger table?) & worrying about where’s everyone going to sleep.  I bet you’ve done so many years of this, so this time it’s time to put yourself first at Christmas.  You won’t regret it!

Finally, I’d just like to thank all my readers & supporters for commenting on my blogs, sharing them & sending me love.  I appreciate you all very much.  I hope you have a wonderful Christmas & here’s to a peaceful 2026.

Love Suzanne x